Chapter 1 代词
代词看似容易，但它是写作时最容易出错的地方之一。代词使用不当，读者不知道代表的是谁，就会看不懂文意。
代词要清楚，首先要有个明确的先行词。代词这个词，是为了避免重复而产生的。先得有个名词短语，后面重复出现同一名词短语时才用代词取代。所以，代词必须有一个先行词，而这个先行词应该是名词短语比较清楚。一个代词若有两个可能的先行词，造成读者无法判断指的是哪一个，结果仍然是不清楚。总而言之，代词只能有一个先行词，而且代词和先行词之间必须符合一致性，包括人称一致、单复数一致、性别一致。这些虽然是小问题，但若不注意，写作时很容易出错。
1 代词与先行词人称须一致
错误句：
When one travels abroad, you should always keep your passport in a safe place.
代词 I, we 是第一人称、you 是第二人称、he, she, it, they 是第三人称。上面副词子句的主语是第三人称的 one。主要子句从句意判断，主语应该是同一个人，却变成第二人称的 you，造成人称不一致的结果，可以修改如下：
正确句 1：
When you travel abroad, you should always keep your passport in a safe place.
这是前后一致采取第二人称 you 与 your。
正确句 2：
When one travels abroad, one should always keep one’s passport in a safe place.
这是一致采取第三人称的 one 与 one’s。如果先行词是代表不特定对象的 one，后面的代词可以继续采用 one，如上句。也可以用同属第三人称单数的 he 或 she，如下：
正确句 3：
When one travels abroad, she should always keep her passport in a safe place.
中性的先行词 one，代词该用 he 还是 she，这里涉及到性别（gender）的考量，在后面将会讨论。
另外，上面那个句子用第二人称（When you travel…）与第三人称（When one travels…）都正确，那么哪一种比较好？答案是：看情况。如果属于非正式的写作场合，例如朋友之间通个 email，彼此用「你我」相称，感觉距离比较亲近，不要太正式，那么用 you 比较好。反之，如果是正式的写作场合，例如一篇学术论文，作者与读者之间保持一段互相尊重的距离比较好，那么就该用 one。也就是说：第三人称比较正式、第一第二人称比较不正式，要看场合使用。
还有一点要注意：先行词是 one 与 someone，后面应该用的代词是不一样的。先行词 one 没有特指是谁，暗示是「不管是谁，任何人」，后面可以一直用 one 作为代词。但是先行词 someone 暗示的是 some particular one（特定的某人），所以后面的代词只能指向「前面说过的那个人」，不能再用空泛的 one。
错误句：
If you see someone waiting at the door, tell one to come in.
先行词 someone 是特定的「某人」，就是假设在门口看到有个人，下文是说叫「那个人」进来，而不是叫「任何人」进来，所以不能用笼统的 one 做它的代词。许多人碰到这种情况会这样写：
可接受但有瑕疵：
If you see someone waiting at the door, tell them to come in.
先行词是 someone，代词用 they，同属第三人称，在人称方面固然一致，但是单复数不一致（someone 是单数，they 是复数），严格讲起来还是有问题。不过，语言的正确取决于使用习惯，上面那个句子大部分人都可以接受，已经不算错，不过读者在写作时若能避免，最好还是避免。下面这两种写法都比较好：
推荐句 1：
If you see someone waiting at the door, tell her to come in.
推荐句 2：
If you see people waiting at the door, tell them to come in.
第一句用 her，符合人称与单复数的一致性，不过这还牵涉到性别考量，详见后面的说明。第二句改为第三人称复数的 people 与 they，也符合一致性，并且避免掉性别考量的问题（they 是中性的）。
可接受但有瑕疵：
People often think that our difficulties are unique.
这句的错误不是那么严重，因为 people 泛指「所有人」，那么 we 也在其中，用所有格的 our 看来好像没问题。但是严格讲来 people 属于第三人称，we 则是第一人称，还是不一致的，最好修改如下：
推荐句 1：
People often think that their difficulties are unique.
推荐句 2：
We often think that our difficulties are unique.
前者采取第三人称、后者采取第一人称，都符合一致性的要求。写作的时候经常会写到「大家」如何或「我们」如何，所以 people 与 we 混用的情况经常发生，要注意避免。
2 代词与先行词单复数须一致
错误句：
The monarch butterfly migrates along the East Coast of North America, where one can easily find them in the spring.
单复数一致是非常简单的要求，但写作时很容易疏忽。先行词 the monarch butterfly 是单数，搭配的也是单数动词 migrates，但是后面的代词却用了复数的 them，这是严重的文法错误。因为句子较长，代词与先行词距离较远，写作时很容易因为疏忽而产生这样的错误。应修改如下：
正确句 1：
The monarch butterfly migrates along the East Coast of North America, where one can easily find it in the spring.
正确句 2：
Monarch butterflies migrate along the East Coast of North America, where one can easily find them in the spring.
前者是都改为单数，后者是都改为复数，皆符合一致性的要求。当然，主语改为复数 butterflies，动词也要改采复数形 migrate，这是另一种一致性的要求：主动词一致性。
3 性别考量
可接受但累赘：
When a teacher takes his or her students on a field trip, he or she is fully responsible and must bring every one of them safely back to school with him or her.
代词的性别考量和女权运动有关。哲学家德希达（Jacques Derrida）提出解构主义（deconstructionism）的主张，女权运动先驱西蒙波娃（Simone de Beauvoir）把它用在解构语言文字，破除里面埋藏的古老男性沙文主义。从前如果是中性的先行词（如 a teacher），代词习惯都用 he，这是受到传统「男尊女卑」不平等观念的影响，需要解构，于是代之而起的是用 he or she 以示尊重两性平等。但这样做有个问题，就是用字不精简，尤其是同一句中重复两次以上的时候，如上例：代词在一句当中重复出现三次，每一次都要兼顾 he or she，就要动用六个之多的代词。碰到这种情况，最好改写句子，改写方式有很多种。
推荐改写 1：
When teachers take their students on a field trip, they are fully responsible and must bring every one safely back to school with them.
这是把先行词改为复数 teachers，后面就可以用中性的 they，用字也很精简。不过，代词 they 既然代表 teachers，在同一句话中就要避免又用 they 代表 students 以免混淆，所以把原文的 every one of them（指的是 of the students）删去介词短语 of them。
推荐改写 2：
When a teacher takes students on a field trip, he or she is fully responsible and must bring every one of them safely back to school.
这种改法是把没有必要的部分都删去，只留下一次的 he or she，这是可以接受的标准用法，感觉也不会太累。
推荐改写 3（最新用法）：
When a teacher takes her students on a field trip, she is fully responsible and must bring every one of them safely back to school with her.
这是最新的用法：中性的先行词，代词一律用 she。这种用法已经被《时代杂志》采纳，而《时代杂志》在有关英文格式方面一向居于执牛耳地位，只要《时代杂志》用，全世界迟早会跟着用。
4 代词缺先行词：语意模糊
代词要有一个明确的名词短语当作先行词。如果读者看到代词，却找不到先行词在哪里，句意就会模糊不清（vague）。
错误句：
Although the new regulations allow them to do it, high school graduates seldom go abroad for higher education.
从意思判断，代词 it 指的似乎是 go abroad for higher education 这件事。但是 it 是代词，go abroad… 则是动词引导的叙述，不能当作它的先行词，所以意思不够清楚。可以修改如下：
正确句：
Although the new regulations allow them to do so, high school graduates seldom go abroad for higher education.
不用代词，改为 do so，这时候助动词 do 代表下文的动词 go，副词 so 代表修饰语 abroad for higher education，整句的意思就清楚了。这里牵涉到代词（pro-forms）的概念。读者最熟悉的代词就是代名词（pronoun），字首的 pro- 意思是 for，所以 a pronoun 就是 something used for a noun，也就是取代名词避免重复的一种代词。
用个简单的例子来解释代词，如果有人说 I like baseball.，你可以跟上一句：I like baseball, too. 但是两句重复太多，有点笨重。这时候可以用助动词 do 取代动词 like，然后用一个副词 too 取代前面的叙述，成为比较精简的说法：I do, too. 所以，助动词 do 也是一种代词，它取代的是动词。
再举一个例子，如果有人说 I am happy.，你可以跟上一句：I am happy, too. 若要避免重复，可以简单说：So am I. 这时是用副词 so 取代形容词 happy，所以副词 so 也是一种代词，可以代替修饰语避免重复。
有瑕疵句：
The city government passed new laws to regulate traffic for its 20 million residents.
这个句子虽然没有致命的文法错误，但是有瑕疵。名词短语 its 20 million residents 里面的 its 是所有格限定词，虽然不是独立的代词，但它也需要一个明确的先行词才清楚，而先行词应该是个名词短语。往前面去找名词短语来当它的先行词，找到的是 the city government，这就不妥了：读者可能会以为「它的两千万居民」是「住在市政府里面的两千万居民」，这显然不合理。其实这个 its 指的不是 the government，而是 the city。问题在于并没有一个名词短语 the city 存在可以当它的先行词，只有 the city government 这个名词短语，其中 the 是冠词，government 是名词，而 city 放在形容词位置，与 government 组成一个复合名词。所以，要说 its 的先行词是 the city，有点勉强。应修改如下：
正确句：
The (city) government passed new laws to regulate traffic for the city’s 20 million residents.
既然没有先行词，就不要使用代词，应该把名词 the city 写出来。若要避免 city 一字重复，可以考虑把前面的 city 拿掉。这得看上下文清不清楚：如果看得出来是「市政府」而非「中央政府」，就可以把前面的 city 删去。若有可能产生混淆，让读者以为是中央政府，那么 city 还是得留下来。
错误句：
Eating too much ice cream may add to your weight, so one way to reduce weight is to keep your refrigerator free from temptations like these.
句尾的代词 these 原本是限定词，把名词省略掉之后留下来升格成为指示代词。那么省掉的是什么名词？往前面去找复数名词（these 是复数），只找得到 temptations，但显然不对（temptations like temptations 语意不通）。结果就是代词缺乏先行词，意思不清楚。应修改如下：
正确句：
Eating too much ice cream may add to your weight, so one way to reduce weight is to keep your refrigerator free from such temptations.
避免使用不清楚的代词，改为名词短语 such temptations，这个限定词 such 需要搭配才有完整的意思，所以读者会对号入座：把它诠释为 such temptations as ice cream（诸如冰淇淋之类的诱惑），这样意思就清楚了。
5 先行词不只一个：模棱两可
代词如果有两个以上的先行词，而且都说得通，会造成读者无所适从，不知作者指的是其中哪一个，这就犯了模棱两可（ambiguous）的错。
有瑕疵句：
When tourists first arrived in this new resort, the locals thought they were very lucky people.
这个句子并没有致命的文法错误，但是没讲清楚。因为代词 they 有两个可能的先行词。若指的是 tourists，句意是「观光客初抵这个新开发的旅游区，本地人认为这些观光客是非常幸运的人」，可能是羡慕观光客可以到处游玩。如果 they 指的是 the locals，后半句意思成为「本地人认为自己的好运来了」，可能是觉得有钱赚了。两种解释都合理，写出这个句子的人显然心里想的是其中一种意思，但是读者无从知道。可以修改如下：
改写1（明确指观光客）：
When tourists first arrived in this new resort, the locals thought these outsiders were very lucky people.
代词不清楚，根本的修改方式就是不要用代词，把名词清楚出来。
改写2（明确指本地人）：
When tourists first arrived in this new resort, the locals considered themselves very lucky people.
这是把主要子句改为 S + V + O + C 的句型：the locals considered themselves very lucky people。里面用到反身代名词 themselves，代表的就只能是主语 the locals。
有瑕疵句：
Not until the last moment will a man tell his wife about his extramarital affair, and it is a leading cause of divorce.
这个句子也没有致命的错误，但是代词 it 的先行词有太多的可能，因而造成意思模棱两可。这个 it 可以代表名词短语 his extramarital affair，也可以代表前面整个子句。后者又可以有两种解释：到最后才坦白，这是离婚的主因，那么这句话的暗示到底是应该提早坦白从宽，还是应该抵死不招？比较清楚的写法如下：
改写1（指不忠）：
Not until the last moment will a man tell his wife about his extramarital affair, and such infidelity is a leading cause of divorce.
改写2（指欺骗）：
Not until the last moment will a man tell his wife about his extramarital affair, and such deceit is a leading cause of divorce.
改写3（指迟来的坦白）：
Not until the last moment will a man tell his wife about his extramarital affair, and such a belated confession is a leading cause of divorce.
三个句子，分别代表前面提到的三种可能，都只有一种解释，所以都清楚。
写作练习
接下来请读者动手做做练习题，做完之后请翻到后面对对答案。这是写作练习，没有单一的标准答案，所附答案只供参考。
A
Fill in the blanks with appropriate pronouns.
请在空格中填入适当的代词。
- The chain of clothing stores will celebrate ____ 10th anniversary next month.
- One should always keep ____ calm in the middle of a crisis.
B
Correct all the mistakes in the following sentences.
请订正以下句子中的错误。
- The boy didn’t do his homework; because of it he was detained after school.
- If the campaign succeeds in raising huge sums, the sponsors will devote it all to disaster relief.
- He doesn’t like the new action film, which his wife finds hard to understand.
- A student with a part-time job can try to pay one’s way through college.
- The company will introduce a plan to diversify their services.
- John told his colleague that he would have to work all night to finish the report.
- Foreigners are often impressed by the bullfighters as they enter the arena.
- Mary loves touring the country by train because it is fascinating.
参考答案
A 填空答案
- its
成衣连锁店下个月将庆祝十周年。 - one’s / his or her / her
在危机中，人要保持冷静。
B 改错答案
-
Because the boy didn’t do his homework, he was detained after school.
因为这个男孩没做功課，所以放学后被留校。原句错误在于代词 it 缺先行词，比较简单的做法是把 because 放到句首，改为表示原因的从属子句，就不必用到代词 it。 -
If the campaign succeeds in raising huge sums, the sponsors will devote them all to disaster relief.
募捐活动若成功募得巨款，主办者将全数用于救灾。原句错误在于代词 it 与先行词 huge sums 单复数不一致。 -
He doesn’t like the new action film, a reaction which his wife finds hard to understand.
He doesn’t like the new action film, a movie which his wife finds hard to understand.
他不喜欢这部新的动作片，这种反应让他老婆感到难以理解。他不喜欢这部新的动作片，这部片子让他老婆感到难以理解。原句错误在于关系代词 which 有两个可能的先行词：一是整个主要子句、一是 the new action film，所以犯了模棱两可的毛病。两种改法分别加上一个同位格作明确的先行词，意思不同，但都合理。 -
A student with a part-time job can try to pay his or her / her way through college.
Students with a part-time job can try to pay their way through college.
有兼职的学生可以设法自己赚钱读完大学。原句错误在于先行词 a student 是某个特定的学生，后面不能用笼统的 one 作代词。 -
The company will introduce a plan to diversify its services.
公司将推出计划，将服务多元化。原句错误在于复数代词 their 与单数先行词 the company 不一致。 -
John would have to work all night to finish the report, and said so to his colleague.
John told his colleague to work all night to finish the report.
约翰为了写完报告得整晚工作，他对同事这样说。约翰叫他的同事整晚工作好把报告写完。原句错误在于代词 he 的先行词有两个：John 与 his colleague，造成模棱两可的结果（看不出是谁要整晚报告）。第一种改法是改为对等子句，第二种是改为 -
Foreigners are often impressed by the bullfighters that enter the arena.
As they enter the arena, foreigners are often impressed by the bullfighters there.
外国人看到进入竞技场的斗牛士，往往会很佩服。进入竞技场之后，外国人看到里面的斗牛士，往往会很佩服。原句错误在于复数代词 they 有两个可能的先行词：foreigners 与 bullfighters。第一种改法是把时间副词子句改为关系子句，关系代词 that 只能代表先行词 bullfighters，所以意思是「斗牛士进入竞技场」。第二种改法只是把时间副词子句移到句首，造成的结果是代词 they 先出来，还找不到先行词在哪里。这时候代词高度不安定，只要出现个可能的先行词就会确定是它，也就是后面先出来的 foreigners，意思于是成为「外国人进入竞技场」斗牛士则是在竞技场。 -
Mary loves touring the country by train because train travel is fascinating.
Mary loves touring the country by train because the sights in the country are fascinating.
玛丽喜欢搭火车在这个国家旅游，因为火车旅行很迷人。玛丽喜欢搭火车在这个国家旅游，因为该国的风光很迷人。原句错误在于代词 it 可能的先行词不只一个：可以是动名词短语 touring the country by train，也可以是 the country。第一种改法说出 train travel，第二种改法说出 the sights in the country，两种改法都是避免使用不清楚的代词，直接用名词。
Chapter 2 比较句法与因果关系
比较句法（Comparison）包括用从句结构做比较以及用介词短语做比较。从句结构需要用到从属连接词的相关字组 more…than（大于）、as…as（等于），以及 less…than、not so…as（小于）。常见的写作错误之一就是相关字组搭配错误。
介词或介词短语可用于比较的有 similar to、like、unlike、the same as、in contrast to/with、compared to/with 等等。不论是复句结构的比较还是介词短语的比较，只要是在做比较，那么比较的双方都要符合平行对称的要求，包括词类、结构、意思，各方面都要对仗工整，这是写作时另一个容易出错的地方。
另外，比较句法因为平行对称的要求而很容易产生重复，这就可以选择省略或者倒装。这方面牵涉到一些修辞考量，也需要注意。
1 比较句法与相关字组
错误句：
Facing life-threatening situations, a person who has been through similar situations before is more likely to respond in swift action as one who lacks such experience.
表示「大于」的从属连接词相关字组是 more…than。本句错在前面用了 more，后面却用了 as，应改为 than，如下：
正确句：
Facing life-threatening situations, a person who has been through similar situations before is more likely to respond in swift action than one who lacks such experience.
接下来看一个类似的例子：
错误句：
What scared the cat was not so much the train ride but rather the noise and all the people.
这个句子错在搞混了两组不同的相关字组：一是 not…but(rather)，一是 not so…as。可以分别修改如下：
正确句 1：
What scared the cat was not the train ride but rather the noise and all the people.
这里用的是对等连接词相关字组 not…but(rather)，表示「不是前者，而是后者」。另一种改法是：
正确句 2：
What scared the cat was not so much the train ride as the noise and all the people.
这里用的是比较句法表示「小于」的从属连接词相关字组 not so…as，表示「前者的分量不及后者」。
2 比较句法的平行对称要求
错误句：
Compared with the high crime rates of New York, Taipei residents live in a much safer environment.
这是用介词短语 compared with 来做比较，和复句结构一样都需要符合平行对称的要求。本句的错误在于拿 the high crime rates of New York 和 Taipei residents 比较，前者是事、后者是人，不符合平行对称的原则。可以分别修改如下：
正确句 1：
Compared with the high crime rates of New York, those of Taipei are much lower.
正确句 2：
Compared with New Yorkers, Taipei residents live in a much safer environment.
第一句是改为「犯罪率比犯罪率」，就是 the crime rates of New York 比 the crime rates of Taipei，为避免重复，可以省掉后面的 crime rates，定冠词 the 词类变化成为代名词 those，后面的叙述当然也要随之更动。第二句则是改为「居民比居民」，也就是 New York residents 比 Taipei residents，为避免重复，可以用 New Yorkers 代 New York residents。
再看下一个例子：
错误句：
Like Shakespeare, Keats’ poetry is a true reflection of life.
这也是介词短语的比较：like A, B。这时比较的双方（A 与 B）就要符合平行对称的要求。但是原句的 A 是人（Shakespeare），B 却是物（Keats’ poetry），不能相比。可以修改如下：
正确句 1：
Like Shakespeare, Keats gave us poetry that is a true reflection of life.
这是改成「人比人」，让 Shakespeare 与 Keats 相比。当然，主语换了，叙述也要相对改变才行。或者也可以改成「物比物」，如下：
正确句 2：
Like Shakespeare’s poetry, Keats’ poetry is a true reflection of life.
这是改成「诗歌比诗歌」，也符合平行对称的要求。不过，平行对称容易造成重复，这就可以省略，如下：
精简句：
Like Shakespeare’s, Keats’ poetry is a true reflection of life.
这里面把重复的名词 poetry 省掉了，留下所有格限定词 Shakespeare’s 升格成为代名词使用。这种改法是更动最小、最精简的改法。
再看一个例子：
错误句：
Prices of papayas in Taiwan, where the fruit is produced in abundance, are much lower than Germany, where it must be imported.
这是复句的比较句法。句子错在拿 prices 和 Germany 相比，不符合平行对称的要求。可以「国家比国家」，比较 Taiwan 和 Germany，也可以「价格比价格」，比较 these prices 和 those prices，但不能「价格比国家」。修改如下：
正确句：
Prices of papayas in Taiwan, where the fruit is produced in abundance, are much lower than those in Germany, where it must be imported.
这是改为「价格比价格」，所以后面要改成 the prices of papayas in Germany 以求与前面的 the prices of papayas in Taiwan 对称。可以省略掉重复的修饰语 of papayas（对称的结果往往是有重复），成为 the prices in Germany。再把重复的名词 prices 省掉，限定词 the 类变化成为代名词 those（先行词 prices 是复数，要一致），结果就是 lower than those in Germany。
再看一个例子：
错误句：
Video games developed by this project team are more exciting than they are by any other team in this company.
原句错在用了人称代名词 they，这个代名词只能代表先行词 video games developed by this project team，但是从句意判断，这里指的应该是 the games developed by any other team in this company。前后是两个不同的名词短语，代表两批不同的 games，所以不能用 they 来取代。只能把重复的 games 省掉，剩下的定冠词 the 词类变化成为代名词 those，再把重复的修饰语 developed 省掉，如下：
正确句：
Video games developed by this project team are more exciting than those by any other team in this company.
3 比较级与省略
比较级因为要求平行对称，经常造成的结果是前后有大量的重复，因而可以省略。但是一个容易犯的写作错误就是省略过当。例如：
错误句：
The young girl is as attractive or more attractive than her socialite sister.
这个句子错在多省了一个字。可以还原为下面这两个复句来理解：
The young girl is as attractive as her socialite sister.
The young girl is more attractive than her socialite sister.
前者是「等于」关系，后者是「大于」关系。两句用对等连接词 or 连接，就成为这个合句：
The young girl is as attractive as her socialite sister or the young girl is more attractive than her socialite sister.
对等子句重复的部分可以省略，原则是保留句首和句尾（句子不能没头没尾），省略中间有重复的部分，于是成：
正确句：
The young girl is as attractive as or more attractive than her socialite sister.
对比原句，可以发现原句错在多省掉一个 as（此字并不重复）。
下面这个句子的情况比较复杂：
模棱两可句：
These restaurateurs do more business with tourists than local farmers.
这个句子并无文法错误，而是错在意思没有交代清楚，主要是看不出来到底是谁跟谁在比较，因而可以有两种解释，也就是犯了模棱两可的毛病。
解释一：
These restaurateurs do more business with tourists than they do with local farmers.
省略后：
These restaurateurs do more business with tourists than with local farmers.
解释二：
These restaurateurs do more business with tourists than local farmers do with tourists.
省略后：
These restaurateurs do more business with tourists than local farmers do.
重点是第二句的 with 或句尾的 do 不能省略，否则会造成句意模糊。
4 比较级与倒装
比较级的句子大多可以倒装。先来看看以下三句：
Your house is bigger than mine is.
Your house is bigger than mine.
Your house is bigger than is mine.
这三句都对：第二句是省略，第三句是倒装。英文修辞要求要精简，所以第二句应该是最精简、修辞效果最佳的写法。但是，在特殊情况之下，比较级应该采用倒装效果最佳。例如：
不清短句：
Manual laborers are more strongly opposed to immigrants than white-collar workers, whose jobs are not seriously threatened by outsiders that swarm into this country, are.
比较级虽然常会省略，但不能省略到语意不清。本句前面出现了 manual laborers 与 immigrants 这两种人，后面第三种人 white-collar workers 如果是和主语 manual laborers 比较，那么动词 are 就不能省略，否则读者无法研判它是和主语 manual laborers 比较，还是和介词的受词 immigrants 比较。
动词 are 既然无法省略，就要留下来放在句尾，因为主语和动词中间有一对如同括弧功能的逗号，里面插了一个很长的关系子句。问题就出在这：动词 are 和主语 white-collar workers 的距离太远，造成句意不清楚。这时就要用到倒装了，如下：
正确倒装句：
Manual laborers are more strongly opposed to immigrants than are white-collar workers, whose jobs are not seriously threatened by outsiders that swarm into this country.
5 因果关系
除了比较句法之外，因果关系的表示也经常会出错。例如：
错误句：
The reason why I support this candidate is because he is an honest man.
这个句子主要的错在拿 because 引导的原因副词子句放在 is 后面当作补语。这种副词子句只能用来修饰动词的原因，不能当主语补语使用。虽然这种句子在口语中经常会听到，但是写作的要求和口语不同：讲话容许的用法在写作时经常是不容许的，尤其是正式写作。
另外，原句还有一个小问题：先行词是 the reason（原因），关系副词是 why（为什么），这样的搭配文法绝对正确，但是从修辞的角度来看就有用字重复的缺点，尤其是后面又来一句 because，更加觉得重复太严重。可以这样修改：
正确句：
The reason I support this candidate is that he is an honest man.
关系副词 why 可以先行省略，就少一次重复。后面的连接词由 because 换成 that，引导的子句也就从副词子句转变成名词子句，可以当主语补语了（和主语 the reason 全等），而且还成功避免 reason 与 because 的重复。
再看一个例子：
修辞不佳句：
The CEO’s plan of heavy wage cuts to meet the financial crisis was defeated because of the concern on the part of the directors of the board over a possible strike.
这个句子也是因果关系的表达，里面并没有重大的问题，但是修辞效果不佳。可以先还原为下句再探讨：
较佳句：
The CEO’s plan of heavy wage cuts to meet the financial crisis was defeated because the directors of the board were concerned over a possible strike.
结论：介词短语的长处在于简洁，副词子句的长处在于清楚。该用哪种构造，取决于最后的修辞效果是否清楚又简洁。
写作练习
Correct all the mistakes in the following sentences.
请订正以下句子中的错误。
- Monkeys have hands resembling us, so they can peel bananas easily.
- After the introduction of robots, the factory produces twice as many bicycles than it did before.
- Just because I drive a truck doesn’t mean I’m a truck driver.
- Dogs are much better companions than keeping a cat.
- Stock prices in traditional industries rose almost as fast, and in some cases faster than they did in electronics.
- Unlike raising oysters in inshore waters, freshwater fish in fish farms demand constant attention.
- This painting is 200 years as old as the Mona Lisa.
- Experts say that the more one uses her brain, her intellectual abilities such as analysis and reasoning will be greater.
- Scientists say that birds are descendants of dinosaurs rather than developing independently.
- Of all the poems in this collection, those by Keats may be the more difficult to understand.
- No less interesting as the painting itself is the story behind it.
参考答案
-
Monkeys have hands resembling ours, so they can peel bananas easily.
Like us, monkeys have hands, so they can peel bananas easily.
猴子有手，和我们的手一样，所以很会剥香蕉。原句错在拿 us 来和 hands 比较，不符合平行对称要求。 -
After the introduction of robots, the factory produces twice as many bicycles as it did before.
引进机器人之后，这家工厂生产的自行车数量是原来的两倍。as…as 为固定搭配，不可用 than。 -
The fact that I drive a truck doesn’t mean I’m a truck driver.
Don’t call me a truck driver just because I drive a truck.
副词子句不可作主语，需改为名词结构。 -
Dogs are much better companions than cats.
Keeping dogs offers much better companionship than keeping cats.
必须平行对称：动物比动物 / 动作比动作。 -
Stock prices in traditional industries rose almost as fast as, and in some cases faster than those in electronics.
不可省略 as，比较对象需用 those 避免重复与混淆。 -
Unlike oysters in inshore waters, freshwater fish in fish farms demand constant attention.
需生物比生物，不可动作比生物。 -
This painting is 200 years older than the Mona Lisa.
有具体差距用比较级，不用 as…as。 -
Experts say that the more one uses her brain, the greater her intellectual abilities such as analysis and reasoning.
双重比较结构：the more…the greater… -
Scientists say that birds are descendants of dinosaurs rather than an independent development.
rather than 前后需平行对称：名词片语比名词片语。 -
Of all the poems in this collection, those by Keats may be the most difficult to understand.
of all… 范围内用最高级 the most。 -
No less interesting than the painting itself is the story behind it.
no less…than 为固定搭配，不可用 as。
Chapter 3 悬荡修饰语
所谓悬荡修饰语（Dangling Modifiers），指的是句中的修饰语找不到一个合理可修饰的对象，因而好像悬在空中。会发生这种现象，最常见的原因是副词子句减化时没有注意到主词不同，任意省略主词，剩下的修饰语就会找不到合理的修饰对象而成为悬荡修饰语。如果剩下的修饰语是现在分词或过去分词，结果就是传统文法所称的分词构句。另外也可能剩下介词短语、名词、形容词等不同类的悬荡修饰语。
初学写作的人，因为使用的句型通常比较保守，大多是写单句，偶尔有个复合句，这都不会出修饰语的问题。一旦有了一些经验，敢于尝试比较复杂的句型，就会喜欢用高级的减化子句（即传统文法所称的非限定子句），这时候就会开始碰到悬荡修饰语的问题。也可以这样说：英文好的人比较容易出现这方面的问题。在英美国家，著作等身的专业作家都经常会犯这方面的错。读者若是英文程度很好，特别需要注意。
1 现在分词悬荡
错误句：
Crying forlornly in the street, a policeman picked up the poor boy and brought him to the station.
从句意判断，应该是 the poor boy 在街上哭。读者如果看到分词构句 crying forlornly in the street，会自动还原为副词子句 because somebody was crying forlornly in the street 来解读，只是主词被减化掉了。副词子句的主词如果要减化，必须和主要子句的主词相同，然而后面出现的主词是 a policeman，解释为「警察在哭」显然不通，这就是一个悬荡修饰语。
还原为副词子句：
Because the poor boy was crying forlornly in the street, a policeman picked him up and brought him to the station.
可以清楚看出两个子句的主词并不相同。如果要把副词子句减化，比较有效的办法是先改为两个主词相同的子句：
改为主词相同：
Because the poor boy was crying forlornly in the street, he was picked up by a policeman and brought to the station.
这时两个子句主词相同，可以开始减化。不论名词子句、形容词子句还是副词子句，所有从属子句减化的手法都一样：先把重复的主词删除，动词采取下列三种手法之一：若有 be 动词，删除 be 动词；若有助动词，减化为不定词短语 to V；其他动词一律加 -ing 成为 Ving。
减化后正确句：
Crying forlornly in the street, the poor boy was picked up by a policeman and brought to the station.
另一种改法（主词改为 policeman）：
还原：
Because a policeman saw the poor boy crying forlornly in the street, he picked him up and brought him to the station.
减化后：
Seeing the poor boy crying forlornly in the street, a policeman picked him up and brought him to the station.
错误句：
Returning from his Asian tour, a huge crowd greeted the pop singer at the airport.
还原：
When the pop singer returned from his Asian tour, a huge crowd greeted him at the airport.
改为主词相同：
When the pop singer returned from his Asian tour, he was greeted by a huge crowd at the airport.
减化后正确句：
Returning from his Asian tour, the pop singer was greeted at the airport by a huge crowd.
错误句：
Standing at the top of the mountain looking down, everything appears tiny.
改为主词相同：
When one stands at the top of the mountain while one looks down, one finds everything tiny.
减化后正确句：
Standing at the top of the mountain looking down, one finds everything tiny.
2 过去分词悬荡
错误句：
Heavily polluted by dioxins, the report says the soil around this factory is not suitable for farming.
减化后正确句：
Heavily polluted by dioxins, the soil around this factory is not suitable for farming, according to the report.
错误句：
Infested by termites, the homeowner decided to call in professionals.
减化后正确句：
Infested by termites, the house required the help of professionals, decided the homeowner.
错误句：
This new medicine cannot really cure a patient unless treated in the earliest stages of lung cancer.
减化后正确句：
This new medicine cannot really cure a patient unless administered in the earliest stages of lung cancer.
3 介词短语悬荡
不佳句：
Instead of buying fire insurance, John’s house was fitted with a fire alarm.
修改后：
Instead of buying fire insurance, John fitted his house with a fire alarm.
不佳句：
While in jail, the biographer says that Kim Dae Jung cultivated an interest in botany.
修改后：
While in jail, Kim Dae Jung cultivated an interest in botany, according to the biographer.
4 名词短语悬荡
错误句：
The greatest playwright ever, Shakespeare’s works have delighted and inspired audiences throughout the years.
减化后正确句：
The greatest playwright ever, Shakespeare has delighted and inspired audiences throughout the years with his works.
错误句：
A great humanitarian, donations by Bill Gates have saved countless lives.
修改后：
A great humanitarian, Bill Gates has saved countless lives through his donations.
5 形容词短语悬荡
错误句：
Although usually reliable, an unfounded story appeared in the newspaper because the editors got careless.
减化后正确句：
Although usually reliable, the newspaper printed an unfounded story because the editors got careless.
错误句：
For some women, calorific food is something to be resisted even when quite hungry.
减化后正确句：
Some women must resist calorific food even when quite hungry.
写作练习
Correct all the mistakes in the following sentences.
请订正以下句子中的错误。
- Using a polygraph, most lies can be detected as such.
- Cut and dried, the farmer piled the hay into a haystack.
- Before printing a story in the newspaper, its veracity must be checked first.
- A hard-working man, the Mayor’s wife complains that he is never at home.
- Published while quite young, the collection reveals the spiritual quests of the poet.
Simplify the following sentences as much as possible.
请尽量精简以下的句子。
- Because I am your best friend, you won’t be facing this problem all by yourself.
- Because the window was wide open, rain spilled all over the floor.
- You need to modify the plan before it is put into effect.
- Because imported beef is not safe to eat, I’m buying local beef only.
- The epic Paradise Lost was dictated from memory, after Milton had lost his eyesight.
参考答案
订正错误
-
Using a polygraph, one can detect most lies as such.
使用测谎机，可以测出大部分谎言。 -
Cut and dried, the hay was piled into a haystack by the farmer.
Having cut and dried the hay, the farmer piled it into a haystack.
被割下来晒干之后，干草被农夫堆成干草堆。 -
Before printing a story in the newspaper, the editor must first check its veracity.
在报上刊出一则报道之前，编辑必须先检查它的真实性。 -
A hard-working man, the Mayor is never at home, complains his wife.
市长是个工作努力的人，老是不在家，他太太如此抱怨。 -
Published while the poet was quite young, the collection reveals the spiritual quests of the poet.
这本诗集在诗人很年轻的时候出版，透露出了他的精神追求。
精简句子
-
(Being) your best friend, I won’t leave you facing this problem all by yourself.
身为你最好的朋友，我不会让你一个人去面对这个问题。 -
(With) the window (being) wide open, rain spilled all over the floor.
窗户大开，雨水漏了一地。 -
You need to modify the plan before putting it into effect.
The plan needs to be modified before being put into effect.
-
(With) imported beef (being) not safe to eat, I’m buying local beef only.
因为进口牛肉吃起来不安全，我只买本地牛肉。 -
The epic Paradise Lost was dictated from memory, Milton having lost his eyesight.
《失乐园》这部巨作是靠记忆口述的，当时米尔顿已经失了视觉。
Chapter 4 一致性
英文是拼音文字，要靠字尾变化（inflection）来表达单复数、时态等文法观念，而且还要互相呼应，例如复数的主词就要搭配复数的动词，这种搭配称为一致性（Agreements）。因为中文不是拼音文字，并没有类似的一致性要求，所以我们在写英文的时候往往会因为不习惯而疏于注意，造成写作时大量出现一致性方面的错误。虽然一致性的文法观念非常简单，但这是标准的知易行难，要经过大量练习，慢慢才会养成习惯，写作时不致出错。
英文的一致性要求有四种：主词动词单复数一致性、名词限定词可数不可数一致性、时态一致性，以及代名词先行词一致性。以下分别说明。
1 主词动词一致性
错误句：
Since 1998, when the infestation began, the number of hectares raided by red fire ants have more than tripled.
片语 the number of 与 a number of 的构造不同、意思不同，一致性的要求也不同。先看一组例句：
正确句：
The number of people in a demonstration was 5,000.
正确句：
A number of people were killed in the demonstration.
第1句的主词是名词片语 the number（数目），所以是单数，要搭配单数动词 was。后面的 of people 是介系词片语修饰 the number，对复数没有影响。
第2句的主词则是复数名词 people（是「人」才会「死亡」），要搭配复数动词 were，前面的 a number of 是限定词，相当于 a few, several，只能搭配可数的复数名词使用（可数、复数才会有 number）。
修正后：
Since 1998, when the infestation began, the number of hectares raided by red fire ants has more than tripled.
错误句：
According to regulations, fire-fighting equipment such as axes, hoses and fire extinguishers are to be kept on every floor of the building.
在主词后面的介系词片语通常不影响单复数，动词只跟主词走。只有在主词空洞没有内容，只表「全部，部分」，类似前位限定词的时候，才需要看介系词片语决定单复数。
修正后：
According to regulations, fire-fighting equipment such as axes, hoses and fire extinguishers is to be kept on every floor of the building.
错误句：
Investigators report that it is the dealers in green onion, rather than the typhoon or the flood, that has caused prices to rise and to stay high.
修正后：
Investigators report that it is the dealers in green onion, rather than the typhoon or the flood, that have caused prices to rise and to stay high.
错误句：
Out of Taiwan’s fascination for all things antique have grown a market for old styles of furniture and clothing.
修正后：
Out of Taiwan’s fascination for all things antique has grown a market for old styles of furniture and clothing.
2 名词限定词一致性
名词片语中的名词与限定词，在可数不可数、单复数方面要一致。
错误句：
Today I interviewed for no less than four jobs, but didn’t get any definite answer.
修正后：
Today I interviewed for no fewer than four jobs, but didn’t get any definite answer.
错误句：
The report says that much of the dioxins to which consumers are exposed comes from fruit and vegetables grown in polluted soil.
修正后：
The report says that many of the dioxins to which consumers are exposed come from fruit and vegetables grown in polluted soil.
错误句：
Living standards can’t be very high in areas where little water or services exist.
修正后：
Living standards can’t be very high in areas where little water or few services exist.
错误句：
This successful learning website boasts of 25,000 registered members, about as many as the enrollment at a major university.
修正后：
This successful learning website boasts of 25,000 registered members, about as many as the students at a major university.
3 时态一致性
错误句：
Some buildings that were destroyed in the 921 earthquake were poorly constructed.
修正后：
Some buildings that were destroyed in the 921 earthquake had been poorly constructed.
错误句：
It has been found that if pigs exercise and listened to music, they will be healthier and yield higher-quality pork than pigs that don’t.
修正后：
It has been found that if pigs exercise and listen to music, they are healthier and yield higher-quality pork than pigs that don’t.
错误句：
Explaining that one of its many problems has been a serious lack of space, the school said that it planned to buy up the adjacent rice paddy.
修正后：
Explaining that one of its many problems had been a serious lack of space, the school said that it planned to buy up the adjacent rice paddy.
4 代名词先行词一致性
错误句：
One way to save citrus bitten by frost is to have them quickly processed into juice, before warm weather returns and rots them.
修正后：
One way to save citrus bitten by frost is to have it quickly processed into juice, before warm weather returns and rots the fruit.
写作练习
Correct all the mistakes in the following sentences.
请订正以下句子中的错误。
- Each of Joan’s fingernails were painted different colors.
- A recent study of Taiwan’s high schools finds that there are now one computer for every five students.
- The President is talking with the Defense Minister about a possible enemy attempt to seize the border town and what the military can do to deal with them.
- Never before had rescue workers in Taiwan handled so many victims as they had in the aftermath of 921.
- Flying squirrels have been an important food source for aborigines in Taiwan, and it is still prized as a game animal in many an aboriginal village.
- Even though the direct costs of child care amounts to only 15% of what the average household spent last year, experts say financial concerns play a major role in the sharp drop in birth rates.
- If the doctor is right, it is not what you eat but how many that decides your weight.
B
Put the words in parentheses into correct forms.
请将括弧中的字改为正确的型态。
- The rise in the government’s index of leading economic indicators (suggest) that Taiwan’s economy is doing very well on the whole.
- Experts say that traces of water discovered in the victim’s right lung (prove) that she was still alive when she fell overboard.
- Under a provision of the law that (never apply), the President (require) to seek the approval of Congress before leading the country into war.
C
Fill in the blanks.
请将答案填入空格中。
- This huge playground can accommodate great ____ of people.
- Cloning may produce a new germ that can wipe out large segments of the population because people will have no natural defenses against ____.
参考答案
A 订正错误
-
Each of Joan’s fingernails was painted a different color.
琼每一枚指甲都涂上不同颜色。主词是单数的 each，要用单数动词 was。 -
A recent study of Taiwan’s high schools finds that there is now one computer for every five students.
最近对台湾高中进行的调查发现，每五名学生使用一台电脑。倒装句，主词是 one computer，单数，用 is。 -
The President is talking with the Defense Minister about a possible enemy attempt to seize the border town and what the military can do to deal with it.
总统在和国防部长谈话，话题是敌人可能强占边界市镇，以及军方可以如何因应此事。先行词是单数 a possible enemy attempt，代名词用 it。 -
Never before had rescue workers in Taiwan handled so many victims as they did in the aftermath of 921.
救难人员在921地震过后处理的受害者人数前所未有。 -
Flying squirrels have been an important food source for aborigines in Taiwan, and they are still prized as game animals in many an aboriginal village.
飞鼠是台湾原住民重要的食物来源，如今许多原住民村落仍视之为重要猎物。主词是复数 flying squirrels，代名词用 they。 -
Even though the direct costs of child care amounted to only 15% of what the average household spent last year, experts say financial concerns play a major role in the sharp drop in birth rates.
虽然育儿的直接成本只占去年一般家庭总支出的15%，但是专家表示财务方面的考量是一大原因，造成出生率陡降。时间是 last year，动词用过去式 amounted。 -
If the doctor is right, it is not what you eat but how much that decides your weight.
如果医生说的没错，那么不是你吃什么，而是吃多少，决定你的体重。不可数概念用 how much。
B 正确形式
- suggests
- prove
- has never been applied / is required
C 填空
- numbers
- it
Chapter 5 修饰语的位置
修饰语应该放在什么位置，最重要的原则就是要清楚：要让读者清楚知道这个修饰语修饰的对象是谁。
所以，修饰语通常要尽量接近它所修饰的对象，才比较清楚，但仍要通盘考虑。例如修饰动词的副词，如果在动词后面还有受词、补语等主要元素，那么副词这种可有可无的修饰语就会移到后面去。还有，修饰语位置最常犯的毛病就是模棱两可：有两个可能的修饰对象，造成读者无所适从。所以写作的时候用到修饰语，一定要检查一下是不是只有一个可能的修饰对象、会不会造成读者无法判断。
1 单字修饰语
模棱两句：
The boss wanted this man to be punished badly.
修饰语位置不当，通常不是文法错误，但会造成意思不清楚，属于修辞问题。本句的问题在副词 badly 放在句尾，可以修饰限定动词 wanted，也可以修饰副词前面的非限定动词 to be punished。可以分别修改如下，两句意思不同，但都很清楚：
正确句 1：
The boss badly wanted this man to be punished.
正确句 2：
The boss wanted this man to be badly punished.
模棱两句：
The man was reported clearly to be dying.
副词 clearly 放在中间，左右逢源：可以修饰左边的 reported，也可以修饰右边的 to be dying，这就会有模棱两可的问题。两种意思可分别修改如下：
正确句 1：
The man was clearly reported to be dying.
正确句 2：
The man was reported to be clearly dying.
模棱两句：
He confessed that he had been abusing his wife openly.
句尾的副词 openly 可以修饰主要子句动词 confessed，也可以修饰受词子句动词 had been abusing。两种意思可分别修改如下：
正确句 1：
He openly confessed that he had been abusing his wife.
正确句 2：
He confessed that he had been openly abusing his wife.
2 短语修饰语
模棱两句：
The secretary had to retype the letter which she had been working on under the order of the manager.
短语修饰语会遇到的情况和单字修饰语差不多。句尾的介系词短语 under the order of the manager 可以修饰主要子句动词 had to retype，也可以修饰关系子句动词 had been working on，两种意思可分别修改如下：
正确句 1：
Under the order of the manager, the secretary had to retype the letter which she had been working on.
正确句 2：
The secretary had to retype the letter which, under the order of the manager, she had been working on.
模棱两句：
The paper was criticized for a lack of originality and subjectivity.
这个句子的问题在于对等连接词 and 有两种不同的连接方式，产生两种不同的意思，所以不清楚。
正确句 1：
The paper was criticized for a lack of both originality and subjectivity.
正确句 2：
The paper was criticized for subjectivity and a lack of originality.
不佳句：
I saw many houses were destroyed by fire on TV.
正确句：
On TV I saw many houses were destroyed by fire.
3 限定子句修饰语
模棱两句：
During examination season, some examinees sit up all night and fight sleep by drinking a lot of coffee, which may affect their judgment while they are taking exams.
句尾的 which 子句是关系子句，问题出在关系代名词 which 的先行词不只一个可能，所以这个关系子句可以修饰的对象也不只一个。
正确句 1：
During examination season, some examinees sit up all night and fight sleep by drinking a lot of coffee, a substance which may affect their judgment while they are taking exams.
正确句 2：
During examination season, some examinees sit up all night and fight sleep by drinking a lot of coffee, a practice which may affect their judgment while they are taking exams.
模棱两句：
A yellow rock containing iron sulfide, which is very common, is sometimes mistaken for gold.
正确句 1：
A very common yellow rock containing iron sulfide is sometimes mistaken for gold.
正确句 2：
A yellow rock containing iron sulfide, a very common compound, is sometimes mistaken for gold.
4 非限定子句修饰语
模棱两句：
The teacher happily greeted the students, entering the classroom.
正确句 1：
The teacher happily greeted the students who were entering the classroom.
正确句 2：
Entering the classroom, the teacher happily greeted the students.
模棱两句：
The manager said that John couldn’t do the job well, worried about the consequences.
正确句 1：
Worried about the consequences, the manager said that John couldn’t do the job well.
正确句 2：
The manager said that John, worried about the consequences, couldn’t do the job well.
写作练习
Correct any vagueness or ambiguity in the following sentences to enhance clarity.
请修正以下句子，让意思更明确。
- The man was discovered accidentally to be in this city.
- John found his wife was reading his diary in great surprise.
- I bought this book at that bookstore, which had been recommended to me very highly.
- John said goodnight to his children, yawning in exhaustion.
- The child insisted on watching this cartoon repeatedly.
- John imagined his wife was still around, feeling very lonely.
- He likes to swim in this river, which is rather dangerous.
- The policeman had to split up with his partner, wounded in the knee.
- John likes his new neighbor, innocent as a child.
参考答案
-
The man was accidentally discovered to be in this city.
The man was discovered to be accidentally in this city.
此人意外被发现身处这座城市。副词 accidentally 位置不同，修饰对象不同，意思完全不同。 -
John found in great surprise that his wife was reading his diary.
John found that his wife, in great surprise, was reading his diary.
约翰很惊异地发现他老婆在看他的日记。 -
I bought this highly recommended book at that bookstore.
At that bookstore which had been recommended to me very highly, I bought this book.
我在那家书店买到这本受到大力推荐的书。 -
Yawning in exhaustion, John said goodnight to his children.
John said goodnight to his yawning children.
累得大打呵欠，约翰和孩子们道晚安。 -
The child repeatedly insisted on watching this cartoon.
The child insisted on repeatedly watching this cartoon.
那个小孩再三坚持要看这部卡通。 -
Feeling very lonely, John imagined his wife was still around.
John imagined that his wife, feeling very lonely, was still around.
因为感觉很寂寞，于是约翰想像老婆还在身边。 -
He likes to swim in this river, which is a rather dangerous place.
He likes to swim in this river, which is a rather dangerous habit.
他爱在这条河里游泳，这是相当危险的场所。 -
Wounded in the knee, the policeman had to split up with his partner.
The policeman had to split up with his partner, who was wounded in the knee.
因为膝盖受伤，这位警员不得不和伴分开。 -
Innocent as a child, John likes his new neighbor.
John likes his new neighbor, who is innocent as a child.
约翰像小孩一样天真，很喜欢他的新居。
Chapter 6 平行对称
平行对称（Parallelism）是重要的修辞要求。英文要求平行对称的构造主要有三种：对等连接词（and, or, but）的平行对称、主语与名词补语的平行对称，以及比较句法的平行对称。包括词类、构造、意思等等，每一方面都要对仗工整，才算完全符合平行对称的要求。
1 对等连接词的平行对称
错误句：
My friend is neither a hero nor a coward, but quite ordinary.
句中有两组对等连接词：neither A nor B 是一组相关字组，中间的 nor 是对等连接词，所以 A 与 B 要求对称。原句的 a hero 与 a coward 都是名词短语，也都是「人」，符合对称要求。另一组对等连接词 not X but Y 也是相关字组，中间的 but 是对等连接词，所以 X 与 Y 必须对称。原句中的 X 为 neither A nor B，是名词短语，但 Y 的 quite ordinary 却是形容词，不对称，应改为：
正确句：
My friend is neither a hero nor a coward, but quite an ordinary person.
错误句：
John D. Rockefeller achieved renown for, first of all, amassing a huge fortune, and secondly, for the fact that he gave much of that fortune away.
这个句子有许多问题。首先，连接副词 first of all 应该用 second 搭配，或者是改为用 firstly 与 secondly 搭配。其次，first of all 后面的动名词短语 amassing 与 secondly 后面的介词短语 for the fact 不对称。还有，对等连接词 and 若是连接前面的 first of all 与后面的 secondly，那么前后是共同放在介词 for 后面的位置，for the fact 的 for 就重复了。订正上述的问题后，应修改如下：
正确句：
John D. Rockefeller achieved renown first of all for amassing a huge fortune, and second, for giving much of that fortune away.
错误句：
Finance Minister says that the country is and will continue to enjoy healthy economic growths.
对等连接词要求前后平行对称，因而经常会产生重复。若有重复出现，往往会省略以保持简洁。上句的问题在于省略过当，把不重复的元素省掉了，因而造成不清楚。应修改如下：
正确句：
Finance Minister says that the country is enjoying and will continue to enjoy healthy economic growths.
不佳句：
However much the students may complain it’s their right to wear long hair and that the Education Ministry supports that right, the school insists that they keep their hair short.
正确句：
However much the students may complain that it’s their right to wear long hair and that the Education Ministry supports that right, the school insists that they keep their hair short.
错误句：
The national bank’s loss could mean less lending to developing countries and increasing the pressure on private lenders to supply the funds.
正确句：
The national bank’s loss could mean less lending to developing countries and increasing pressures on private lenders to supply the funds.
2 主语与名词补语的平行对称
不佳句：
China is a culture that places a premium on filial piety.
正确句 1：
China has a culture that places a premium on filial piety.
正确句 2：
China’s is a culture that places a premium on filial piety.
错误句：
This year’s foreign tourists to Taiwan may be the highest figure on record.
正确句：
The number of this year’s foreign tourists to Taiwan may be the highest figure on record.
错误句：
The outbreak of dengue fever in Taiwan may be a serious impact on the economy.
正确句：
The outbreak of dengue fever in Taiwan may have a serious impact on the economy.
错误句：
Astronomers believe that the distant supernova explosion is a type previously unknown to science.
正确句：
Astronomers believe that the distant supernova explosion is of a type previously unknown to science.
3 比较句法的平行对称
错误句：
Bananas in Taiwan are much cheaper than Japan.
正确句：
Bananas in Taiwan are much cheaper than those in Japan.
写作练习
Correct all the mistakes in the following sentences.
请订正以下句子中的错误。
- After years of hard work, spring floods and summer droughts have not and may never be eliminated from this area.
- What I like about John is his sincerity, humor, and because he is mature.
- Not only is the boy honest but also a brave boy.
- He said to his wife that he was sorry and the fight was over.
- I love movie chase scenes, especially Star Wars.
- After he left home, the kid went not to school but ended up in the zoo.
- The Taiwanese people like to fatten pigs, with especially heavy ones receiving awards, selling for high prices, and excite enormous interest when they are slaughtered and put on show for Taoist festivals.
- Drug and alcohol abuse is a cost to business of more than $10 billion a year.
- The professor, though innocent, has chosen early retirement rather than face accusations of sexual harassment.
参考答案
-
After years of hard work, spring floods and summer droughts have not been and may never be eliminated from this area.
经过多年努力，该地区的春涝与夏旱问题仍未解决，且可能永远无法根除。 -
What I like about John is his sincerity, humor, and maturity.
我喜欢约翰的是他的真诚、幽默与成熟。 -
Not only is the boy honest but he is also brave.
这个男孩不仅诚实，而且勇敢。 -
He said to his wife that he was sorry and that the fight was over.
他对妻子说他很抱歉，争吵已经结束了。 -
I love movie chase scenes, especially those in Star Wars.
我喜欢电影里的追逐戏，尤其是《星球大战》里的。 -
After he left home, the kid went not to school but to the zoo.
离家后，这个孩子没去上学，而是去了动物园。 -
The Taiwanese people like to fatten pigs, with especially heavy ones receiving awards, selling for high prices, and exciting enormous interest when they are slaughtered and put on show for Taoist festivals.
台湾人喜欢养猪，特别肥大的猪可以获奖、卖出高价，并在道教节庆宰杀展示时引发巨大关注。 -
Drug and alcohol abuse costs business more than $10 billion a year.
毒品与酗酒每年给企业造成超过100亿美元的损失。 -
The professor, though innocent, has chosen to retire early rather than face accusations of sexual harassment.
这位教授虽无辜，却选择提早退休，不愿面对性骚扰指控。
Chapter 7 时态、语态、语气
本章处理的都是和动词有关的项目。写作时，每个句子都要有动词，也都会牵涉到时态、语态和语气的判断。这些是和文法观念比较相关的主题，只要文法观念好，写作时注意不要疏忽就行了。若是发觉自己的文法观念有点混乱，可以参考《旋元佑文法》相关的章节，重新厘清一下。
1 时态
错误句：
Since 1986, when the regulations were changed, several corporations began paying their investment advisers a small basic fee, with a contract promising higher fees if the managers perform well.
时间副词 since 1986（自1986年起），暗示「至今已经有多久了」，所以它修饰的动词要用现在完成式，如下：
正确句：
Since 1986, when the regulations were changed, several corporations have begun paying their investment advisers a small basic fee, with a contract promising higher fees if the managers perform well.
错误句：
Today, because of improvements in agricultural technology, the same amount of acreage produces twice as many apples as it has in 1910.
时间副词 in 1910 是过去时间，它修饰的应该用过去简单式。本句用比较句法，as 子句里面的动词和主要子句的动词都是 produce，但是时间不同。主要子句的时间是 today，要用现在简单式，从属子句里面的时间是 in 1910，要用过去简单式 produced，也可以用助动词 did 取代以避免重复，如下：
正确句：
Today, because of improvements in agricultural technology, the same amount of acreage produces twice as many apples as it did in 1910.
2 语态
不佳句：
The manager is not available right now because a meeting is being presided over by him.
一般的情况，主动态比较直接、意思比较清楚，而且用字也比较少，符合「清楚」与「简洁」这两大修辞要点，所以正常情况都是采用主动态。但是，特殊情况下，如果采用被动态反而比较清楚或者简洁，就该采用被动态。
正确句：
The manager is not available right now because he is presiding over a meeting.
不佳句：
They speak Portuguese in Brazil.
正确句：
Portuguese is spoken in Brazil.
不佳句：
Someone stole my wallet.
正确句：
My wallet was stolen.
不佳句：
Switzerland managed to stay out of WWII, but Germany invaded Poland early on.
正确句：
Switzerland managed to stay out of WWII, but Poland was invaded by Germany early on.
不佳句：
Although the doctor ordered him not to smoke, the patient found it impossible to quit the vice.
正确句：
Although ordered by the doctor not to smoke, the patient found it impossible to quit the vice.
不佳句：
I must leave early because I have a meeting to be attended.
正确句：
I must leave early because I have a meeting to attend.
不佳句：
The news can’t be released because there are some people to notify first.
正确句：
The news can’t be released because there are some people to be notified first.
3 语气
错误句：
Throughout last weekend many anti-war protestors were demanding that the President calls back the troops.
这个句子有文法错误。从主要子句动词 were demanding 来看，后面 that 子句里的叙述是一项要求，尚未成为事实。这应该采用「间接命令句」语气，that 子句用原形动词来表达「希望、要求」，如下：
正确句：
Throughout last weekend many anti-war protestors were demanding that the President call back the troops.
错误句：
The law requires a motorcyclist wears a helmet for safety.
正确句：
The law requires that a motorcyclist wear a helmet for safety.
错误句：
Some professors believe that business ethics should be a part of every business course, but others say that students will take ethics seriously only if it would be taught as a separate, required course.
正确句：
Some professors believe that business ethics should be a part of every business course, but others say that students will take ethics seriously only if it is taught as a separate, required course.
错误句：
I’ll be very much surprised if he were to win First Place.
正确句 1：
I’ll be very much surprised if he wins First Place.
正确句 2：
I would be very much surprised if he were to win First Place.
写作练习
Correct all the mistakes in the following sentences.
请订正以下句子中的错误。
- I have ever been to Hawaii and don’t feel like going again any time soon.
- Some of those pigeons should have arrived by now if it wasn’t for the typhoon that cut them off for three days.
- If I could spend half as much time reading as I did watching TV, I would have graduated a lot sooner.
- The boss demanded that the letter would be sent out before noon.
- We will find out how strong the building is when an earthquake will hit.
- No expert in the world can say with assurance when an earthquake hits.
- The research team proposed that a tunnel was dug for animals that must cross the highway.
参考答案
-
I have been to Hawaii and don’t feel like going again any time soon.
我去过夏威夷，短时间不想再去。「有去过」用 have been to，直述句不可加 ever。 -
Some of those pigeons should have arrived by now if it hadn’t been for the typhoon that cut them off for three days.
要不是因为台风阻断了它们三天，到现在应该有一些鸽子已经抵达了。过去时间非事实假设，条件句用过去完成式 hadn’t been。 -
If I had spent half as much time reading as I did watching TV, I would have graduated a lot sooner.
当我花在读书上的时间哪怕只有看电视时的一半，我早就毕业了。过去非事实语气，条件句用过去完成式 had spent。 -
The boss demanded that the letter be sent out before noon.
老板要求那封信要在中午之前寄出。demand 后接间接命令句，用原形动词 be。 -
We will find out how strong the building is when an earthquake hits.
地震来时，我们就会知道这栋建筑有多牢固了。时间副词子句表未来，用现在式 hits。 -
No expert in the world can say with assurance when an earthquake will hit.
世上没有专家敢有把握说什么时候地震将会来临。名词子句表未来不确定，用 will hit。 -
The research team proposed that a tunnel be dug for animals that must cross the highway.
研究小组建议要挖地道让必须穿越公路的动物使用。propose 后接间接命令句，用原形动词 be。
Chapter 8 简洁
修辞的两大要求，一是要清楚（Clear），一是要简洁（Concise）。文学家 E.B. White 在修辞学经典《The Elements of Style》的序文中讲了两个小故事。这本书是他在康奈尔大学修习 William Strunk 老师的修辞课时学到的讲义，经他增补润色而成，与老师联名出版，成为修辞学的长青树。因为历史悠久，已经没有版权，读者可以很方便下载来参考。他在序文中提到，老师课堂上曾对他们叮嘱：You must never repeat yourselves. Let me repeat: You must never repeat yourselves.。这个故事有点在挖苦老师：叫学生写文章不能重复，自己却在重复。
另一个小故事是说老师教他们：将来出去当记者、写文章，写完后不要立即发出去，应该先压在抽屉里一两天，然后拿出来看能不能改短一点。改之后再搁一两天，再拿出来改短。一直到不能删减一字，文章才可以发出去。
这两个小故事有一个共同点：简洁，这是修辞的重大要求。影响简洁性的凶手有二：一是重复（redundant）、一是冗长（wordy）。上面两则小故事一个说的是重复，一个说的是冗长。
真正的专业写手，如《纽约时报》记者，早已革除一般人常犯的写作毛病。但是最后一道障碍，也可以说是 99 分与 100 分之间的差距，就在于文章是否简洁。这也难怪 E.B.White 在修辞学专书的序文中讲的两个小故事都跟简洁性有关。
读者若想学习用字精简，可以多看海明威的书。海明威刻意改革英文风格，创造出简明流畅的现代英文，也因此获得诺贝尔奖。有一本谈写作的专书，在处理 Conciseness 的章节，作者先引述《老人与海》的第一段，然后挑战读者有没有办法更动一字。这也是世人对海明威的评价：用字精练，无人能出其右。以下就分成「重复」与「冗长」来探讨简洁性的要求。
1 重复
不佳句：
Unemployment rose slowly from January up to August this year, but has remained unchanged since.
本章的句子都没有严重的错误，但是有用字不精简的毛病。上句的问题在于 rose 与 up 意思重复，可删改如下：
精简句：
Unemployment rose slowly from January to August this year, but has remained unchanged since.
错误句：
You must be at least 18 years old or above to be eligible to vote.
句中的 at least 与 or above 意思重复，可择一删除，如下：
精简句：
You must be at least 18 years old to be eligible to vote.
You must be 18 years old or above to be eligible to vote.
不佳句：
Instead of consuming electricity used to heat water, one can install a solar-energy water heater and have all the hot water one needs.
精简句：
Instead of using electricity to heat water, one can install a solar-energy water heater and have all the hot water one needs.
不佳句：
Last year the nation’s total expenditure on education amounted to a sum less than three percent of GDP.
精简句：
Last year the nation’s total expenditure on education amounted to less than three percent of GDP.
2 冗长
不佳句：
In animal tissue, dioxin induces the production of enzymes that is the organism’s attempt to metabolize, or render harmless, the chemical that is irritating it.
精简句：
In animal tissue, dioxin induces the production of enzymes that is the organism’s attempt to metabolize, or render harmless, the chemical irritant.
不佳句：
It is much more difficult to clone an organism of a complex nature than it is to clone bacteria.
精简句：
It is much more difficult to clone a complex organism than it is to clone bacteria.
不佳句：
The rising of oil prices has produced widespread fears of a general inflation.
精简句：
The rise in oil prices has produced widespread fears of a general inflation.
Rising oil prices have produced widespread fears of a general inflation.
不佳句：
Patience is generally considered to be an essential quality in a teacher.
精简句：
Patience is generally considered an essential quality in a teacher.
不佳句：
The rise in sales seems like it is indicative that the new marketing strategy works.
精简句：
The rise in sales seems to indicate that the new marketing strategy works.
Rising sales seem to indicate that the new marketing strategy works.
不佳句：
With the exception of a concert performance staged by the composer himself last year, the musical has never been performed in the U.S.
精简句：
Except for a concert performance staged by the composer himself last year, the musical has never been performed in the U.S.
不佳句：
That there are different sets of bloody footprints present at the scene of the crime suggests that several criminals are involved.
精简句：
Different sets of bloody footprints at the crime scene suggest that several criminals are involved.
写作练习
Rewrite the following sentences to make them more concise.
请改写精简以下的句子。
- At least as many as 10 million and more mothers in Africa are malnourished.
- Smoking is maybe the leading cause of lung cancer in Taiwan.
- The boss, being worried about possible reactions from the union, decided to keep the scale of the layoff to the minimum.
- I like Tamsui, which is a small town that is very rich in historic sites.
- The annual cost of drug abuse to the nation’s economy is at least one billion dollars a year.
- The study suggests that the number of women employed outside the home grew by more than a 35% increase in the past decade.
- The theory of there being one single “supercontinent” millions of years ago is widely accepted by geologists.
- My brother is an honest man who works very hard.
参考答案
-
At least 10 million mothers in Africa are malnourished.
As many as 10 million mothers in Africa are malnourished.
非洲至少有一千万母亲营养不良。 -
Smoking may be the leading cause of lung cancer in Taiwan.
抽烟可能是台湾肺癌的主因。 -
The boss, worried about possible reactions from the union, decided to keep the scale of the layoff to the minimum.
老板因为担心会引起工会反弹，决定把遣散员工的幅度降到最低。 -
I like Tamsui, a small town very rich in historic sites.
我喜欢淡水这个有许多历史古迹的小镇。 -
Drug abuse costs the nation’s economy at least one billion dollars a year.
毒品滥用让该国经济一年付出至少10亿美元的代价。 -
The study suggests that the number of women employed outside the home grew by more than 35% in the past decade.
研究显示，职业妇女过去十年成长超过35%。 -
The theory that there was one single “supercontinent” millions of years ago is widely accepted by geologists.
百万年前存在单一「超级大陆」的理论被地质学家广泛接受。 -
My brother is an honest, hard-working man.
我的兄弟是个诚实苦干的人。
Chapter 10 学生写作错误分析
我在台湾教英文写作多年，批改过无数的学生作文。整理出来台湾学生常犯的写作错误，大部分和美国学生相同，但也有一些不同的地方。台湾学生的英文写作错误若与前面探讨过的内容重复，这章就不再整理。以下收录的都是前面章节未曾提过的错误。
1 中文思考
错误句：
Indifference can get away from trouble but may lose some special experience.
台湾学生写英文作文，常犯的一个毛病是先想好中文，然后逐字变成英文。这样做除了语法不自然，有时还会产生逻辑上的问题。
例如上面这个句子，写作的人心里显然想的是「冷漠能避免麻烦，但可能会失去一些特别的经验」，中文句子是个好句子，但不能逐字翻成英文。「冷漠能避免麻烦」背后要说的是「人若冷漠，人能避免麻烦」。下文也是一样，「但冷漠会失去一些特别的经验」，意思是「但人若冷漠，人会失去一些特别的经验」。如果照原句的写法，会变成「避免麻烦、失去经验」的主角都不是人，是「冷漠」本身，结果就不知所云了。修改如下：
正确句：
Through indifference you can get away from trouble but may lose some special experience.
正确句：
Indifference can get you away from trouble but rob you of some special experience.
错误句：
Many believe that formalistic tests can promote the overall international competitiveness of language ability.
正确句：
Many believe that standardized tests can promote the overall international competitiveness of the students in terms of language ability.
错误句：
To sum up, I think our society should break the indifferent atmosphere, and everyone should start learning to reach out to others.
正确句：
To sum up, I think our society should break the atmosphere of indifference, and everyone should start learning to reach out to others.
错误句：
And we know that wash hands and wear a mask are able to prevent from diseases.
正确句：
And we know that by washing hands and wearing a mask we are able to prevent diseases.
错误句：
With the national health insurance people do not afraid that seeing a doctor would spend much money.
正确句：
With the national health insurance, people need not worry that seeing a doctor would cost them much money.
错误句：
People might think that the heed to others could interrupt others’ lives and get some trouble, but the truth is that we should give up indifference so that people have more empathy and be unity more easily.
正确句：
We might think that paying heed to others could interrupt others’ lives and get us into some trouble, but the truth is that we should give up indifference so that we may have more empathy and be united more easily.
2 Comma Splice（逗号拼接）
错误句：
If a student really wants to improve their English ability, learning English may be a daily habit, they don’t need anyone to order them to do so.
另一个台湾学生经常犯的写作错误是：两个句子之间没有连接词，只打个逗号就连在一起了。这是常见的文法错误，有一个专用的名称叫作 Comma Splice，字面意思是「用逗号拼接」。
正确句：
If students really want to improve their English ability, learning English may be a daily habit. They don’t need anyone to order them to do so.
错误句：
Now, perhaps we haven’t exactly found the treatment to the cancer yet, we have a lot of ways to slow down the condition.
正确句：
Now, although we haven’t exactly found the treatment to cancer yet, we have a lot of ways to slow down the condition.
错误句：
More and more people are concerned with their health, hence they concentrate on taking good care of their health through exercise, keeping regular hours and a balanced diet, … etc.
正确句：
More and more people are concerned with their health; hence they concentrate on taking good care of their health through exercise, keeping regular hours and a balanced diet, etc.
3 句型
错误句：
Whereas, if the accident took place currently, she could get a series of treatments which it is sufficient and helpful.
正确句：
However, if the accident took place currently, she could get a series of treatments which are sufficient and helpful.
错误句：
Also, people have greater abilities to afford nutrition might be one of the reasons too.
正确句：
Also, that people have greater abilities to afford nutrition might be one of the reasons too.
错误句：
As a human, it is almost impossible that someone had never contacted with others.
正确句：
It is almost impossible that any human being should have never contacted others.
错误句：
For foreigners, English is a tool definitely, and it depends on when, who, or why people use it.
正确句：
For foreigners, English is a tool definitely, and the issue depends on when, to whom, or why people use it.
错误句：
Epidemic prevention is an item that the government attaches importance to it very much.
正确句：
Epidemic prevention is an item to which the government attaches very much importance.
4 名词短语
错误句：
No matter it is a good or bad news, it would not have any impact on her mood.
正确句：
No matter there is good or bad news, it would not have any impact on her mood.
错误句：
Most of time, a company will tend to hire a graduate with fluent English.
正确句：
Most of the time, a company will tend to hire a graduate with fluent English.
错误句：
Furthermore, the suggestion that keeping yourself in a happy mood makes our life longer may not guarantee the success, but the payoff will be worth the effort.
正确句：
Furthermore, the suggestion that keeping oneself in a happy mood makes one’s life longer may not guarantee success, but the payoff will be worth the effort.
错误句：
I was not exception.
正确句：
I was no exception.
错误句：
One reason for people’s longer life can be attributed to the success of comprehensive national health insurance system in Taiwan.
正确句：
One reason for people’s longer life is the success of the comprehensive national health insurance system in Taiwan.
错误句：
Few centuries ago, the average life expectancy of people was approximately fifty; however, in 21st century, people can live to the age of about seventy.
正确句：
A few centuries ago, the average life expectancy of people was approximately fifty; however, in the 21st century, people can live to the age of about seventy.
错误句：
People really care a lot about health, and we avoid the things that hurt ourselves.
正确句：
People really care a lot about health, and they avoid the things that hurt them.
5 全部否定与部分否定
不佳句：
We don’t need to be afraid of beasts and climate anymore.
这句的问题涉及到一个观念，A and B 的否定 = not A or not B（全部否定）；A or B 的否定 = not A and not B（部分否定）。
正确句：
We don’t need to be afraid of beasts or climate anymore.